dear diary Am write to tell you how am suviving in the dersite London .Am staing in a quite place under the London eye .We have to rushed are food .We don’t have a cufea place but it it will do .Iwill tell the story how it went . I was walking Down the street . The place was a pit quite . I was bring a trolley with me . There I was getting a pit scerd . My sort started irrer irritating me ,but there I hard a a loud nose.The hol of London claps. I ran under the London eye there I was safe . Now I have really on the further.
day two
Am surviving in the diverted London . People is surfing pain . Getting really sick . We are all trying to surviving .I no that everonde even me I wandering how said this happen? There I nothink that we can do . So we just have to pra . All I thinking is how long we can live.Why is all there’s questions cant gaserveddaDaty
Day 3
still surviving in the diverted London .We are all thinking what to do.
November 22, 2012 at 2:31 pm
Tiannie,
This is a good start to your dystopian opening chapter. You’ve got a clear idea of how to create the scene – and your choice of writing in the first person is a good, effective one.
It is going to be important to work on addressing the spelling mistakes and some of the missing words in your writing.
1) The missing words can often be found by reading your work, word for word, aloud.
2) The spelling is a bit harder to tackle, but I’d like to see how you go sounding your words out – this might be a helpful start which I can assist you with.
I look forward to working with you to perfect this writing. If you need it, I can underline all the words that need to be fixed – just let me know.
Mr Waugh